Nothing lasts forever-- I am Nothing

These are images of Mahalakshmi in Kolhapur, Maharasthra. I went there from Bangalore right after some major floods in Maharashtra had claimed more than 300 lives. I definitely saw many houses up to the roofs in water on the train ride, fortunately Kolhapur was relatively unaffected. Mahalakshmi is very dear to me, so when Ma recommended to me through Her heart-speak that I go to Kolhapur, I knew I was in for a treat. First let me say that Maharasthran women are gorgeous :), in fact they're known throughout India for being so, and it's no coincidence in my eyes that the Supreme Goddess of beauty has Her home there. I had darshan and the police were generous to me I guess because they could see how much it meant to me to be there and that I had obviously travelled from far to take darshan, so they let me meditate very close to Her. When I closed my eyes, I could feel my prana and even see it with my inner vision filling my whole being, pulsing with my breath. My prana was filled by Ma's light and made light and fluffy feeling, I know this probably sounds terribly new-agey, but this was my genuine experience. Every now and then a small puff of this energy would disappear near my feet, and then Ma would refill it again instantly. It happened so much that I opened my eyes and saw that people, after having darshan of Ma were bowing to me also, and when they touched the ground near my feet, were literally taking this energy. I didn't mind, Ma was giving me such abundance I had plenty to share, but it showed me again that this rituals have more significance than our material minds can possibly comprehend.
I then went to Ujjain, one of India's seven holy cities and the home of the Shakti Pitha and Jyotir lingam Mahakali and Mahakaleshwar. As is typical I'm learning, the jyotirlingam is the really famous thing and the shakti pitha was a small temple far off. I went to Mahakaleshwar, which in sanskrit is a name for Shiva that means the destroyer of time, and sat for meditation in front of Father. It really felt like ten minutes of meditation but nearly two hours had passed! I went the next day to Mahakali and, ironically, I knew Her energy already very well because it was the exact same as Mata Amritanandamayi, Ammachi.
I then had a day in Bombay, which was a city I was trying to avoid because its cursed land, but it was funny to see the half-finished skyscrapers (many buildings in India are left unfinished and I somehow thought the 'new-york of india' would be different), and disturbing to see Western culture and the prevalence of disrespect there. But then I finally crossed the border of Nepal and made it to Kathmandu.
This is where I struggle to tell you more. The serene quietude and peace of the Himalayas have brought me powerfully home to myself and I even as I wrote the above stories I felt it more out of obligation than for joy of sharing. At the beginning of my blog, I asked how I can move beyond myself if I'm talking about myself to you? :) But I'm realizing that I am nothing, there's nothing to move beyond, and I've grown tired of talking about meaningless details, what about THIS? THIS massive experience of existence, THIS miracle re-creating itself every moment before our very eyes!
One thing I failed to share from my last darshan with Amma was really the most important key to everything right now. I asked Amma at Thiruvannamalai, "if even the great work Ammachi is tirelessly performing can be written off by the egoes in this world, what can possibly save us?" In Her talk, Amma looked at me right after saying that the only thing we can do is SHARE OUR HEARTS. We can SHARE OUR EXPERIENCES, and not these meaningless details of what we did, what we saw, etc. We can dive deep into our guts and reveal for the whole world what we're really feeling. How many of us are spending our lives in fear of what others are thinking of us?? And yet if we shared what we're feeling, can you imagine the great discoveries waiting for us all? I'm a lifelong spiritual seeker, a yoga teacher of all things, that struggles with lust and a marijuana habit, but you see the truth is that I am NOTHING. I don't suffer from anything, and neither do you. Only our identities suffer is what, and when we see that our identities are only the product of our environments and past influences, we can cut through this illusion of shame and pride which have choked our hearts from singing for far too long!
I love this world, and I know that as dark as things are (just saw "lords of war" with Nicholas Cage which was an eye-opener), that EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK. Sri Aurobindo prophecized Mother's coming in *no less than four aspects*, and She's here and I've already shared with you three of Her incarnations. But we need to STAY POSITIVE is all. If we buy into the illusion that the world is shit, it will become shit very fast!! Please, just don't let anyone talk negative about THIS. If you yourself feel negative, then *CALL FOR HELP*. You don't need anything more than a sincere prayer for this call, why? Because if you've been following even the smallest portion of my blog entries, you should know that as children of this world we have the best support system in the universe :). So many masters, sages, and saints are here in the flesh and available, and this isn't even the literally hundreds of even greater masters we can't see and are still hidden.
If you're wondering, "how can everything be ok?" Think about the other half of what Amma shared-- the money we spent on military last year alone could end world hunger for one hundred years. Over 400 billion dollars, we can't imagine how beautiful this world could be if we spent this money on saving lives instead of taking them!! We only spend it on military because we believe this LIE that the world is shit and so we need to have guns to keep it at bay. I believe the end of the world is coming, and it will be the end of this world of fear, this 'world' people imagine is full of bad people. The end of the world will mark the dawn of our awakening to truth and reality is all. Love is our nature, friend won't you share your song? Wont you write your experiences bravely sharing everything in your heart, good and 'bad' alike, until the sharing transforms you and the planet into one pulse?
There is no evil in the world. Even the classic 'six enemies'-- lust, anger, pride, jealousy, greed, and delusion-- are only there to ensure the survival of the species until we are fully identified with our immortal nature. They're actually our servants safeguarding our voyage into higher consciousness! And about evolution-- don't believe the scientists' mythology about the history of our planet, well ok don't believe it's the full story at any rate. To say that the advent of intelligence in the universe came with human beings, instead of being an actual inherent quality of the universe (which if you believe to be true gives you the grand unified field theory of the universe in a simple jiffy), places an unbearable burden on us as the 'heralds of intelligent life' in the universe. It's not true. In fact, we are a fall from the supreme intelligence! Physicists won't admit the universe is intelligent, but what could be a greater sign of intelligence than that any attempt to measure it is doomed to be incomplete? We are restless in the West because we believe this lie that the universe is dumb and that we are smart, we feel this burden to be too great. But the *reverential gratitude* that comes from seeing that we are the product of this Supreme Intelligence, a part of the great stream of creation!, cures this Western restlessness we have in a heartbeat.
God bless, I've run out of money here so I've been living as a sadhu, and I cannot tell you the joy that comes from being living proof that we *need nothing* because we already ARE EVERYTHING. Please friend, dare to plomb the depths of your heart, even if you fail to express the truth you'll succeed in discovering many things I assure you! And there's no danger, a blog is beautiful because it's not in your face, people have to willingly come to read it. SHARE SHARE SHARE THIS WORLD INTO LIGHT. Let's dispel this illusion of darkness and reveal the SHINING TRUTH that we really do LOVE THE WORLD.
JAI MA